April 11th

Hello everyone! So life here in Kansas City is going great! This last month has flown by but I feel like a lot has happened. After spring break I started working at Pier 1 about 20 hours a week and then getting full swing back into things after a two week break was kind of rough. We just finished our second to last GBF week of the semester and the last 3 weeks of classes were the toughest I've been through yet. I have 12 classes that I'm juggling on top of practicing 6 hours a week for voice and going to the prayer room 18 hours a week, oh ya and working 20 hours a week! So there was a while were I was just really overwhelmed and really going through a dry season, going to the prayer room was basically a time to do homework for me and I was getting really discouraged. I felt like I was being given all this information and teaching and I didn't have anytime to take it in and that was even more discouraging because I want to get all I can out of my education and this environment. During that time, I actually had the first desire to go home. My plan was to stay here this summer and do summer classes (which I just found out that isn't an option for me anymore) however, I started to feel a shift in my heart to want to pour myself out. The more and more I thought about it and prayed about it, I just began to see this inner desire to serve my church this summer in whatever way I can. So after about a few weeks of praying about this we had a prophesy lab in one of my classes one day at school. We basically just broke up into groups of 4 and each took turns praying and prophesying over each other. A quick side note with that : It is an awesome thing when the Holy Spirit just quiets all your feelings of inadequacy and decides to use you anyway, it's awesome because you know it's Him and not you! So when it became my turn for my group to pray and prophesy for me, there was a particular word given to me that just really confirmed my going home. The word was about how God has a wealth of treasure stored up in me and He wants to start using it and drawing from it to bless and edify others. To make a long story short that night in my small groups meeting, I basically got the same exact word again! So after that day I just knew in my heart that God wants to use me this summer to do exactly what he said, to bless and edify. Now my plans are to come home for the summer and just be a servant in anyway I can to my church. And throughout all of this, God has totally brought me out of that dry discouraging season my spirit is so much more alive, I now have a drive to finish these last few weeks of school with perseverance and strength! I have about a month of school left and I want to give it my best, please pray that God gives me grace to run hard and be diligent! Thank you all for your prayers for me and I am continuing to stand in faith and prayer for all of you too!

March 4

God has been doing alot of things in my heart lately, just revealing the deep rooted ugliness that is in my heart that he wants to expose and gut out. A lot of it stems from pride and there have been numerous times over these past few months that God pin points a thought and traces it back to a prideful attitude in my heart. I want to share with you something that happened a few weeks ago. For one of my classes we were required to interview a prophetic singer here on the base. A friend a I interviewed this guy who has been singing here for a few years and had a lot of great advice towards becoming a prophetic singer. At the end of our time with him, he was talking about how he is a verbal processor and asked my friend and I if we were the same and almost before I could even answer him, he turned to me and said, "I can tell your not a verbal processor, you think things through on the inside, you piece together your thoughts before you come out and say them!" With that he was encouraging me to take process things out loud, and how it is key in prophetic singing, that if I sit and think too much then I will miss the opportunity to bless the Lord and lead people into his presence. Well when I was done being all exposed and out in the open because he had just read my mail, I began to realize how much I play things safe. I let fear of failure cripple me into growing and learning. God is really challenging me to step out and let people see me grow, this has a lot to do with me singing here. While I really do want to develop that muscle of being alone before God with my talent, I also can't let that limit me to my growth process. It's like I wanted to hide during my awkward time and only come out when I knew I was good enough. Which again directly relates to pride, I don't anyone to see me fail because I am too prideful, but God longs for humility to take place in my life, that is how he is going to grow me up and it' s also the only way he can be glorified through my life. So a big inward battle and struggle is pinpionting thoughts of pride and renewing my mind to go low and live in humility before him and man. It's all apart of dying to my flesh, which I am learning more and more is something that is so hard to do. However I know that the more I keep on going low that the more he can be glorified and it also enables me to walk in righteousness with him! So I just thought I would be real and let people see my struggle, I know sometimes it can do good for more than just me. I'm praying that you all are getting full to the fullest measure of wisdom and revelation of him!

Feb 9th

Hello all!!I know it's been a while since I've shared in my blog however, I had a very long break and then it took a while for me to get back into the swing of things here in Kansas City. This past week was Global Bridegroom Fast, it was a nice break from classes and a good reminder that I rely on the grace of God and not on my human flesh.
This semester looks very different for me compared to my first. I have 10 different classes this semester but all of them are only once a week so it's not as big of a load as it sounds. I have 5 classes that are strictly music and then 5 that are biblical. I have a class that is called Communing Prayer and the basics of it are building up a secret place in our walk with the Lord. It seems as though the first 3 weeks of school the Lord has been pressing in my heart that who I am in the secret needs to be who I am everywhere else. My hearts desire for this semester is to build up a time in the secret place where I am ministering to the Lord's heart by singing His word, by praying the word and from that place my outward walk will be established. I want who I am in the secret, when I'm with the Lord waiting on His presence to be the very same person who will be on a stage singing to the Lord and waiting on Him in front of people. What happens in m secret place will be the foundation of who I am in Him. All the teaching, all the preaching, all of the worship sets will only be built on top of what has been established in my secret place. I have set this as an important goal for this semester and have even pushed out any thoughts of joining a team until this is completely and habitually established in my life. A lot of this revelation has come by reading Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge. I encourage you to read this book, I'm not even through all of it yet but it has amazing truths that have really opened up my eyes to a lot of things about spending time in the secret place with the Lord.
I am continually praying for you all! Please let me know if there is anything I can come in agreement with you about! The Lord is good and his mercy endures forever, I want to see that truth be so present in all of your lives!

Hi all!! Sorry it's been a while since I've put up a post, it's been a little busier for me since I started this last module. Which leads me to what I'm going to share! This module is called Eternal Glories of an Intercessor and I've been blown away ever since the first day of class. God has revealed so much to me about the way I should be praying and living. My biggest revelation is that Christ has seated us in the heavenly places with him, which means we can take that place even now. We have so much authority that Christ longs to give us if we just were dead to the world and alive in the spiritual realm. I have been so challenged to go up the the heavenly places and live and walk in the spiritual realm and take the authority that Christ has given me and call forth things that were not as thought they were! We get there by more revelation of Jesus, so my prayer has been asking God to give me revelation of who he is. In class we pray in the spirit every day and when we do, we are encouraged to focus on the scripture of Revelation 4, Jesus' throne room and the 24 elders and the creatures crying "holy, holy, holy". What is God like that they can't stop saying that??? I want to know! There has been so much more that God has been doing to my spirit through this class and among other things, my flesh wants to tell all because I have a "look at me" attitude but God has been pressing on my heart to go low and just pray about all this for a while. He will not give his glory to another and I want to be the last person to ever try and glory in my flesh. Right now I just now that God is moving, he's showing more and more the power of my prayers, strongholds are being torn down in lives right now and the Holy Spirit is getting ready to do something big in the hearts of my fellow classmates and others here at IHOP. JESUS IS COMING!! WOO HOO! I encourage all of you to get a hold of Corey Russel's cd, "Ancient Paths" it's rocked my world over these past few weeks and is still doing surgery on my heart! Please Please Please email me, write me, call me if there is anything you want prayer for, I want to agree with you before the father!! Have a wonderful week, BLESSINGS!! OH Merry Christmas get excited to celebrate such a beautiful gift!

November 11th

Hello all! This week was GBF (Global Bridegroom Fast) and it flew by! I had nice week though, spending alot of extra time in the prayer room due to no classes is always nice. God really has been blessing me by giving me insight into my bible reading time. We are required to read our bibles here and for a while it was a checklist to check off for me, but lately it has been just the opposite. I have found myself taking a lot longer to get through my daily reading because the Lord pours so much out to me when I take the time to carefully read his word. So this week has been a time of quietness in my heart and spirit. I have hung out a lot less with people and have just spent some alone time and at first it was a little weird for me because I did it without deciding, it just sort of happened. But as I was reading my bible this week, the Lord confirmed this "quietness" in me. I was reading 1 Peter 3: 4,5 - Instead it should be that of your inner self the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. - I believe he gave this to me to show me this season that he wants me to go through and also to challenge me in the way I make myself beautiful. Beauty in our culture is such an outward thing but this verse starts off with the fact that it should be of our inner selves. I was just so challenged with the amount of time I spend a day making myself look beautiful compared to the amount of time I practice a gentle and quiet spirit before the Lord. So I have found that by having a quiet and gentle spirit has enabled my thoughts to come into order, I think so much more clearly! I guess that is just a side note, but a big thing I realized through this is it's not always coming before him with a mouthful of words to pray or spirit of boldness although those things are good. But sitting before the Lord in quietness and having a gentle spirit, I think allows for submission to take place in our lives, to the Lord and to others. Which submission is a whole other thing that the Lord has placed on my heart as well but I won't get into it hehe! I'm just excited to see the fruits of taking on a gentle and quiet spirit. Well you are all in my prayers and please let me know if there is anything I can bring before the Lord with you!

November 4th

Hey everyone! I hope you had a blessed week! This week was another great week for me. I finished up my last week of my Eschatology module and it went well. This week was one of the rather intense weeks as we learned about the judgments that God will pour out on the earth. As we came into a deeper understanding, I learned that these judgments are his acts of mercy on people as he tries to give them one last well actually several last chances to turn to him before they are cast into hell. This just really showed me how God is after us, and how far he will go to get us. I began to apply this to my own life, realizing that God will do everything it takes to bring me into perfection, even if I have to go through times that aren't so comfortable or pleasant, he will do what it takes to make me complete! Just like a parent disciplines their child to make them realize that a little pain now is nothing compared to alot of pain later on. The amazing thing is, that this realization brought me into a deeper understanding of his love for me. He literally won't relent until he as all of us, he's after me and won't quit molding me and making me! I am blessed to have a father that cares about me so much, he is the most consistent in all he does to make sure I get there. My heart came into a new reality of him this week, I loved every minute of it! There is a song that Misty Edwards sings that says: "Set your love as seal upon my heart, for there is love that is as strong as death, jealousy demanding as the grave, and many waters cannot quench this love" This is straight from Song of Solomon 8:6-7 and it shows us how intense the love God is for us! My prayer is that God takes all of us deeper in this relentless love he has for us!

Hi all! I hope this last week was great for you. I had a great week, there are tons of things I could share but I think I will just pick the things that had the biggest impact on me! So basically this week God really just pounded on my spirit how valuable my thought life is. There is so much that I learned but I will start with last monday. I went to my briefing (a meeting before a prayer set) and our leader was talking about the quality of our hearts. She read a quote from a book which basically said that what is in our hearts right now about God is the most important thing about us. It really challenged me to separate the things I know about God from what is truly in my heart because in the end that is what he is going to be examining, not the things I can rattle off and tell you about God. I can't just listen or read things and just agree and then say I know God, it's has to be a heart experience. I know this truth but to say that what's in my heart is the most important thing about me, it really set me into a new perspective. Later on in the week, David Sliker, my Eschatology teacher talked about our thoughts and giving into thoughts that aren't good and how that immediately leads to sin. When we feed into certain thoughts we start a fire that can keep on burning for a lifetime if we don't choose to put it out. The best thing to do is not give into those thoughts at all, God gave us the ability to control what we think and when we do and choose not to give into fleshly thoughts we begin to step into righteousness. Later on in the week FMA had something called Fall Frenzy, where we just had a retreat/conference thing. Our speaker was Dr. Carol Thompson and really challenged me on my thought life all over again. God is calling us into righteousness and holiness but it's not just in outward actions, it's in our thoughts and our hearts. The best part of our Fall Frenzy was yesterday when a girl got up and spoke about how she felt the need to address this "perfect woman" that us girls have in our heads because of our culture. She called into light the way girls dress in vain, compare, judge, and think about themselves and one another all in the context of what the world says about us. She prayed over us and repented of all of those things and prayed that the heart of God would tell us who we are and put the right "perfect woman" in our hearts so that we could strive to be that woman. This was also another big challenging thing along with my thought life, because this is something all girls deal with, but I walked away knowing I have the power by the Holy Spirit to put to death thoughts that give into my flesh. Again God is driving me into holiness and this week he showed me the root of it all was my thoughts and keeping my thoughts holy and blameless before him. One of the things that Dr. Thompson said was that the mind releases the spirit and the spirit releases the mind, to be free in the spirit is to be free in the mind, a blockage in the mind is a blockage in the spirit and so ultimately you mind will control your spiritual level. That truth right there is causing me to examine my thoughts so much more than I have before, because what controls my thoughts controls me. I want my thoughts to be harnessed by the Holy Spirit and therefore I want to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. I love how God took a whole week to really get this in me and I am sure he will have to spend some more time getting this in me but I always get so overwhelmed how he does everything he can to make us holy as he is holy.
Alright, sorry if this was all over the place but there was so much to say and my computer is about to die and so I had little time to do this!! Please if there is anything I can pray for let me know. I hope you all have a great week, and keep seeking him with everything!